The word liminal means ‘the space in between’ two different things. It is a place where we can choose a new direction or path. Stutter is a former troll in VRChat and now identifies as a bridge of the liminal space, reflecting on the destructive power he once yielded and the healing he now finds in giving back to the community he once harmed. In this interview, we explored the complex depths of Stutter’s journey and the motivations behind his actions. He shared candid insights into his past behaviors, and his eventual path towards self-awareness and change. 

This is one human’s story of personal and community transformation in navigating the liminal space of social immersive technology.

The Beginnings of Trolling

Stutter’s entrance into VRChat was marked by curiosity driven by popular memes. His initial experience was filled with what he described as annoying behavior towards others, a means to fit in and find his place in the virtual world. “I joined VRChat during the whole ‘Ugandan Knuckles’ thing,” he recalled, indicating how viral trends can often shape initial interactions in online communities.

The Power and Control

A significant part of Stutter’s trolling involved crashing other users’ experiences. He explained, “It was fun making them go away, mid-slur, mid-swear, mid-scream…” It was about “enjoying the fact that I had authority over their experience [of] the game.” This sense of control was a driving force, offering a form of satisfaction through disrupting others’ enjoyment. Stutter’s trolling was also about moderating his game experience to ensure he was having fun and not letting others ruin his day.

Realizations and Regrets

Over time, Stutter first began to see the futility in his actions. “It just got stale,” he admitted. This boredom, coupled with a growing understanding of the impact of his actions, led to a shift in his behavior. He started to recognize the people behind the avatars, moving from seeing them as mere characters to real individuals with feelings. This shift was significant, reflecting regret about seeing VRChat as just a game and not considering it as a “second world” with real emotional impacts.

The Impact of Racism and Hate

Stutter’s reflections also touched on the darker aspects of trolling, including the use of racial slurs and hate speech. He acknowledged, “Using the N-word is still very much racist… It’s something that I used to describe an extreme person of that mindset.” 

This candid admission highlights the internal conflicts many trolls might face, grappling with behaviors that are deeply harmful yet normalized in certain circles. Here are some steps that can be taken if you witness such behavior:

• Address the Behavior: Calling “in” versus calling out sometimes works best for transformational learning. Start with curiosity to slow it down, then add a reflection on how you value the person doing the harmful thing. In other words, separate the behavior from the human. Explain why their behavior is harmful. Finally, clearly state your request for change. If this doesn’t work, an additional option is to report directly to the application. Most platforms have mechanisms to report abusive or harmful behavior. Use these tools and/or alert moderators to the issue. 
• Support the Victim: Reach out to the person targeted by the trolling and offer support. Let them know they are not alone.
• Educate Others: Engage in conversations about the harmful impact of such language and behavior, promoting awareness and empathy within the community.
• Create Healing Spaces: Foster and participate in groups or communities that promote inclusivity and respect. Reinforcing healthy behavior can create a counterbalance to trolling.
• Challenge Harmful Norms: Speak out against the normalization of harmful language and behavior in your circles, even if it is used jokingly. Creating a culture of accountability can help reduce the prevalence of such behavior.

Most importantly, don’t be a bystander. Your silence amplifies permission for this behavior to continue and even escalate. 

Blocking: Perceptions and Limitations

Stutter shared that trolls often view blocking as a form of losing and being blocked as winning. This perception creates a problematic dynamic where trolls feel empowered by their actions when they are blocked, seeing it as a victory over their target. Blocking, therefore, becomes an ineffective deterrent. Furthermore, blocking is an individual solution and does not address the broader community impact. While blocking can protect one user from a troll, it does nothing for others in the space who are also affected. This highlights the need for community-wide solutions that address trolling behaviors more holistically and support a healthier virtual environment for all users.

Reflections on the Liminal Space

Stutter now finds himself in a liminal space (watch to the end of Part 2 for this reflection), a place between his past as a troll and his current role as a moderator. This space is defined by his ongoing reflections on his actions and their impacts. He supports communities constructively, providing steady boundaries for disruptors seeking direction. He believes that trolls will eventually calm down when they find their group and the worlds they like to visit. It’s a cycle of “attacking and healing,” where many people will eventually change their mindset and integrate into the community differently. Additionally, Stutter still occasionally trolls his friends, but it is done with their consent, reflecting a more playful and respectful approach to his past behaviors. This understanding highlights the importance of creating a sense of belonging and community for trolls to transition out of their harmful behaviors.

The Human Behind the Troll

Behind the avatar, Stutter is a person with diverse interests and hobbies. He adopted the name Stutter as a way to make fun of himself before others could. This self-deprecating humor reflects his understanding of the importance of owning his identity. Stutter enjoys fishing, playing games, and watching anime. In VRChat, he continues to hang out and enjoys watching chaos unfold in game worlds, which allow for a more controlled and less harmful manner of expressing disruptive feelings. Stutter focuses on balancing his virtual and physical reality responsibilities. He currently works in a warehouse, spending many hours per day quietly contemplating his life and choices. This glimpse into his personal life reminds us that behind every troll is a human being with their own story and struggles.

If a Troll Lives Under a Bridge, What’s on the Other Side?

When asked about the statement, “If a troll lives under a bridge, what’s on the other side?” Stutter provided a metaphor to explain the dynamic. He described that, in most fantasy games, a troll guards a bridge that leads to the next town, which represents the next quest or goal. The troll acts as a barrier, forcing players to overcome a challenge—whether by paying a toll, solving a riddle, or outsmarting it—to reach the reward on the other side.

This metaphor illustrates that trolls serve as both obstacles and gatekeepers, testing the resolve and commitment of those who seek to cross. The presence of a troll signifies that there is something valuable beyond the barrier, and only those who are determined and resourceful can achieve it. This dual role of trolls challenges others to grow and persevere, highlighting the transformative potential within the metaverse.

Moving Forward

The interview with Stutter offers a poignant look into the mind of a troll and the possibility of change. It underscores the importance of understanding the human behind the behavior and creating spaces for reflection and growth. As Stutter suggests, finding ways to redirect the high energy of trolling into collaborative community engagement can be a transformative tool. His reflections on the role of environmental design, such as lighting, in moderating behavior indicate that thoughtful design can influence user interactions and potentially reduce negative behaviors.

Stutter invites trolls literally and figuratively to look for the dawn when they see the dusk. Stutter’s mindstate is a virtual world with a liminal bridge in it that is constantly being destroyed by new waves of trolls. For those with the courage to choose a healing path, the bridge is also being rebuilt by those who once caused harm but now hold healing for those still finding their way. Stutter’s transformation from bridge breaker to bridge maker embodies the potential for redemption and growth within the virtual community.

By sharing these stories, The Troll Project aims to foster empathy and promote healthier interactions within virtual communities. Stutter’s journey from causing chaos to seeking understanding serves as a testament to the potential for personal growth and the power of self-awareness.

For more insights and interviews on the impact of trolling and ways to build resilient communities, visit The Troll Project.